Now, what you've all been waiting for... tawdry tidbits from the jet path to Dublin. I don't think one claims their seat upon a plane in those tiny little coach nooks and says to themselves, "I'd like to have a good snog with the stranger sitting next to me." Well, maybe you do, but I can't say I ever have. I usually get stuck by the stinky old guy wearing essence of moth balls eau du toilette or the whiney lady that doesn't fly much demanding a fresh pillow because who knows what "type" was using it before her. Worse yet - the booger-laden toddler wanting to kiss you with banana goo all over them - my personal favorite. To my astoundment, a handsome and witty bloke, oddly from Indianapolis, sits right beside me, laughing with other friends also on the flight. This never happens to me.
To protect the not-so innocent, we'll call him Michael for the purposes of my story. (No, the point is that it isn't his name nor is it remotely close, but feel free to guess all you like.) Michael claims his seat beside me, making some comment to his friend behind us using such language as "fuck" in his wording. Concerned that I was offended (haha) he apologizes and I reply, "what the fuck for?" Michael smiles, laughs and proclaims "this is going to be a good flight" - to which, I concur with a smile. We begin chatting almost immediately and he shows me some fun apps on his iPhone - I may have been drooling over his technology more than him at first. Then he comments about checking what Match.com has for him before take off. I said, most plainly, that they will have shit for him - complete shit. It's a sham with the same useless people month after month and to stop wasting his money. He laughed and we began talking about anything and everything. Once we're in the air and the bar cart approaches, he asks if I'll have some drinks with him. But of course, I reply! So, 2 bottles of Merlot for me and 2 bottles of Chardonnay for him. (Yes, I mocked him for his sissy wine choice, but there's only so much one can do when choosing from an airplane bar cart.)
This is the part were things get a bit fuzzy, as far as how things went-down, that is. Of course, we did request 4 more bottles of wine at one point, to which our lovely Irish flight attendant obliged most kindly. I don't remember how we got there, but suddenly, we're having a lovely snog and I have no complaints whatsoever, nor does he. I believe Michael started things moving along and I recall feeling it was quite normal in a way, more like comfortable, I suppose. And then, of course, the duty-free cart came along and lookie there! - A bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream appears. We weren't supposed to consume it on the flight, but, ummm, we did... all of it. It was lovely and already the best flight ever... and then, the lights went down and the blankets were drawn high...over my head at one point... over his at another... one of us always keeping a look out for flight attendants and random passersby. Discussions of a full-fledged mile high membership were at the helm, but we had certain challenges which need not be delved into... female challenges, let's say. So, we were happy enough with a hearty snog that required unzippering, unbottoning and creative maneuvering in wee coach seats.
Before we had a chance to notice, we were landing. We traveled through customs together, went for a smoke and a coffee whilst I awaited the arrival of my travel companion and he waited for his connection to Shannon. We exchanged information and have chatted since. Truly, a wonderful voyage and the only way to fly almost a full "mile high".
You are my hero!!!
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